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Expat Tips

4 Ways Expats Can Feel More at Home

April 28, 2021 by familymoveabroad

There are numerous reasons why people move abroad. Some people opt to become expats because they found a job, while others move because of a relationship, i.e., a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband. You may be looking forward to the move, excited about a new country, new foods, and culture to sample-until you get there and experience challenges.

Some expats travel to other countries, leaving their families behind. With the current lockdowns due to Covid-19, they are stuck in those countries while their families are in their home countries. You could also be living with your family, but experiencing challenges.

Challenges Experienced by Expats

Loneliness and Homesickness

As an expat in a foreign country and stuck there due to Covid, loneliness has got to be the biggest issue. As much as you may have made friends abroad, it is natural to miss your family, especially when you know you cannot visit them until the lockdowns are lifted. Calling them via video calls is not the same as physical contact, and most people get very lonely and depressed.

Children are significantly affected, especially when they do not understand why Mom or Dad cannot visit or they cannot travel to see them. If you live with the kids in a foreign country, they may feel homesick and miss their old friends and home comforts.

Culture Shock

No matter how well prepared you think you are to live as an expat, culture shock is a reality. Adapting to a whole new way of life is not easy. You have to be prepared for different food, different language, and its nuances, etc. For example, in your home country, something said in jest may be considered highly offensive in your host country.

Language Barrier and Alienation

The language barrier could be an issue, especially if you had not taken the time to learn the language. Everything, including local TV channels, is in that language, and you might resort to relying on interpreters or watching international news online, which further alienates you from the local news. This feeling of alienation, of feeling like you do not belong, is familiar, and it takes a while to get used to it, especially for children.

How to feel more at home

Learn the language

Learning the language of your host country makes the transition more seamless. If you have kids, let them learn the language earlier on before you move. Look for a multilingual school to make the kids feel less isolated and where they can communicate in both their language and the local language.

Install a VPN

Part of making your family feel at home in the new country is watching your favorite TV shows. Most of the shows in your home country might have geo-restrictions in the new country. A VPN allows you to bypass these restrictions, and you can watch the shows as if you were in your home country. The VPN hides your IP address and lets you log into the internet from a remote server. Many expats use VPN to keep up with their favorite shows back home.

Carry your Favorite Things

Make your new home as familiar as possible by taking some of your favorite things. Kids can carry their favorite toys, books or even a favorite blanket. Anything that makes them feel at home.

Go with the Flow

Attitude is the main barrier to getting over culture shock. Prepare yourself and your children for the move. Get familiar with the host country, watch YouTube videos and read about the country. Having a positive attitude goes a long way in helping you settle in faster.

Conclusion

Moving to a new country can be extremely daunting. Feeling isolated and lonely are familiar feelings. You can overcome these hurdles by having a positive attitude and being open to learning new things and making new friends.

Writer’s Bio

Jack is an accomplished cybersecurity expert with years of experience under his belt at TechWarn, a trusted digital agency to world-class cybersecurity companies. A passionate digital safety advocate himself, Jack frequently contributes to tech blogs and digital media sharing expert insights on cybersecurity and privacy tools.

Filed Under: Culture Shock, Expat Family Life, Expat Tips

Expat Education: An Expat’s Guide to Choosing a School Overseas

June 10, 2019 by familymoveabroad

Considering an overseas move with children? Grab a copy of Expat Education: An Expat’s Guide to Choosing a School Overseas by Carole Hallett Mobbs. Wherever you’re at on your expat journey, this book will help you understand the many education related concerns of moving your child to a foreign country.

Expat Education — The Kinds of Schools You’ll Find Living Abroad

The author speaks from her personal journey — 12 years parenting in Japan, Germany and South Africa. Her book provides an overview of key education terms and models you’re likely to come across while parenting abroad.

First, you’ll learn the ups and downs of “local schools” from an expat perspective. (Also known as public, national or state schools, depending on what country you’re in.) From there, the author demystifies the many faces of “international schools.” These schools might be bilingual schools. They might be British, American or Canadian Schools. French and German Schools. And many other individual national systems exported to foreign countries. You’ll then learn the different degree options and university entrance exams those institutional paths are tied to. International Baccalaureate, American High School Diploma, GCSE, and much more.

Education and Schooling within the Context of Your Expat Life

Next up, examining these options through critical lenses — your child’s age, grade level, personality style, learning challenges, foreign language proficiency, and many other personal metrics. One of the things I appreciated most? Framing these options within the context of your path as an expat. There’s no one right answer. Your needs and goals may change with time, and where you’re living. Looking at education within this bigger picture enables you to balance the unpredictabilities of your expat life.

Stories shared by patrons of Carole’s website bring life to these different options. They highlight the reality that every family is different. It’s up to you, as expat parents, to do your homework. Even more, these mini interviews balance the author’s first person narrative. Both Carole’s experience and those of many of these other expats couldn’t be more different than my family’s time here in Spain. I appreciated both how and why some of these parents made the decisions that they did. The trade-offs that came with those choices. And what they might do differently if they were to do it all over again. There’s so much we don’t know starting down our expat path. These stories give you the chance to see your family in their situation and maybe learn something from their challenges.

Schools, Education and Expat Life– A Complex Issue Made Personal for You

To be clear, this resource is meant to serve as an introduction and overview of the many factors to consider for your child’s education as an expat. The topic is far too complex for any one book to bestow you with a personalized expat education plan.

Imagine the sheer volume of permutations when you cross each country’s education laws, locally available options, and your child’s and your family’s unique circumstances. Dizzying to think about, right? And yet, within this labyrinth, this guide does a great job distilling those permutations into digestible, practical, personally relevant points of self inquiry. Better yet, the author includes a list of vetted resources to turn to for further investigation.

Another plus for me, looking at your schooling decisions within the greater context of living abroad. Foreign language, your kids social life, special education, and much more. Having now parented two school aged boys in Spain for three years, the connection between their educational environment and psychological adaptation seems obvious. But that wasn’t always so. It’s clear Carole’ recognizes that education decisions embrace more than just academic success.

Finally, this guide to choosing schools overseas also addresses the impact of repatriation on your child’s educational path. Her family’s recent return to their native UK almost seemed like their hardest move yet. I would never have thought returning back to your native country could be so challenging. And yet, being right in the midst of that process as I write, I’m learning that going “home” isn’t as easy as you’d think it would be from a schooling perspective!

Author Carole Hallett Mobbs Helps Expats Choose Schools Overseas

The Right Questions to Ask When Choosing a School

I’ll admit, as ‘expats by choice,’ reading about the realities of what some families must go through when they have little to no say in where they live or when they move left me feeling fairly overwhelmed. Yet from just our comparatively short stint living abroad — in a place completely of our choosing — I can appreciate the food for thought Carole puts in front of you.

It’s clear to me now that before we moved to Spain, when I was madly investigating everything under the sun, I had no idea what questions to ask when it came to interviewing school options abroad. It’s hard to know whether we would have done anything differently. But I can tell you that my family learned the hard way what can happen when your child’s school is not a good fit.

Whether you’re moving overseas for a one year adventure or setting off on a career driven, long term life change, you’ll be on much more solid footing for having read such well curated information from someone who’s really been there.

Expat Education: An Expat’s Guide to Choosing a School Overseas is available in on Amazon in both paperback and kindle.

Filed Under: Expat Education, Expat Family Life, Expat Tips Tagged With: Choosing School Overseas, Education in Foreign Country, Expat Child, Expat Family Tips, Expat Life, Expat Parenting, How to Choose a School Overseas, International Schools, Parenting Abroad

Our 10 Biggest Mistakes Moving to Spain – And What We’d Do Differently Next Time

April 29, 2019 by familymoveabroad

Learn from your mistakes

Our biggest mistakes moving to Spain from the US as a family. I’d never moved kids to Spain before. In fact, I’d never moved to or lived in any foreign country before. Truly, I thought I’d researched everything. Far more went wrong than right. These are our 10 biggest mistakes moving our family to Spain (there were far more!), and here’s what what we’d do differently next time.

Mistake Number 1: We Didn’t Come Straight to Seville, the Setting for our Year in Spain.

Everyone I’d ever spoken to who knew Seville always said the same thing. “Amazing city. Hot as hell in summertime.” My husband and sons hate the heat, so I flew us into Barcelona to spend August traveling up north. Well intended, but backfired. None of them had been to Seville before. Their anxiousness to see their new city made it hard for them to just enjoy the vacation time. And though we’d packed light, there was plenty we could have stored if we’d stopped in Seville first.

Next time we relocate kids to a place they’ve never been, we’re going straight there, no matter what the season. Find housing, store bags, then travel.

Mistake Number 2: We Delayed Filing Our Immigration Paperwork (All Thanks to Mistake Number 1.)

I knew we had 30 days from our date of arrival in Spain to present ourselves at the local foreigner’s office. Yet not fully understanding the process, this weighed on me. (Much as much as not having seen Seville weighed on the boys.) It also meant waiting longer to get our foreigner’s identity card. Having that card leaves you with an unbelievably satisfying feeling after nearly a year of immigration mayhem.

Next time I move to Spain, or any other foreign country, I’m finalizing immigration matters as soon as I land.

Mistake Number 3: I Didn’t Sufficiently Research the Local Rental Market. Then We Lost Our Short Term Housing.

Of all our biggest mistakes moving to Spain, this one takes the prize. In fact, we could just call this two mistakes rolled into one. Despite scouring the most used housing rental websites in Spain, the perfect apartment did not just fall into our laps. (And no, I wasn’t being too picky.) Apparently, furnished two bedroom apartments were plentifully available. Furnished three bedrooms, not so much. Subsequently, I discovered tourist season picks up promptly in mid-September. The vacation rental we were staying in was already booked per our originally scheduled departure. Now we needed new short term and long term housing. The pressure did not go unnoticed.

Next time, I’ll talk more to local realtors to get a sense of the local housing market. I’d also try to get a handle on short term housing constraints. If I were put in contact with a reputable relocation assistant or realtor, I might even consider committing to a long term lease before arriving. Kids and not knowing where you’re going to live don’t mix well.

Learn from your mistakes

Mistake Number 4: I Only Contacted Housing Listings By Email, Not Phone.

Yes, I’ll admit it. I was too scared to speak over the phone in Spanish! But I learned the hard way that the locals here in Seville are more inclined to call back then email back. No doubt, my phone fear exacerbated our house hunting woes.

Next time I move to Spain, I’ll still use the form on the housing websites to contact advertisers. But then, I’m going to call. Right away. Multiple times. Until I get a human on the line. And if my language skills aren’t good enough, I now know it would be worth hiring a Spanish speaker to make calls for me.

Mistake Number 5: I Didn’t Set Up A Bank Account Right Away Because I Thought We Needed Our Residence Card In Hand To Open One.

Initially, I hadn’t expected to need a Spanish bank account, and per mistake number two, I still didn’t have our identity card. Turns out you only need your NIE number, not the card, to open banking and utility accounts in Spain.

I had assumed we could charge our mobile phone and internet service to a credit card, as we do in the States. I also thought a landlord would keep utility service accounts in their name and have us reimburse with the rent. Our current landlord is fine with this arrangement, our first one wouldn’t hear of it. That’s when we learned that all onoing service accounts in Spain — mobile phone, internet, health insurance, electric — are debited from your “cuenta corriente.” My lack of knowledge about this put us in a huge crunch to get the bank account open in time to set up the services we needed upon move in.

Next time I move to a foreign country, I’ll know to ask about their banking and bill payment models in advance, and get whatever accounts I need going right away.

Mistake Number 6: I Purchased International Health Insurance. I Should Have Bought Spanish Health Insurance.

The coverage on the international plan was fine. In fact, if we’d been spending a lot of time outside Spain, or hadn’t had so many unexpected illnesses and accidents that first year, I might never have noticed the inconveniences of my international plan compared to policies from Spanish health insurance providers. What I learned? Spanish health insurance ROCKS! Go to a network provider. Give receptionist your card when you walk in. Pick it up when you walk out. And that’s that. No forms to fill out. No claims to file. No waiting for reimbursements. And get this… many of the Spanish health insurance plans include a housecall service. Yes! A doctor comes to you. When you’re sick. At no extra cost.

Next time I move to Spain, I’m getting Spanish health insurance from the start.

Mistake Number 7: I Hadn’t Fully Educated Myself on the Many Useful Tech Tools that Make Expat Life Easier.

From language translation to making international calls, the right technology will make your expat life easier.

From translation and money transfer apps to VOIP tools that let you call any mobile or landline phone, these services save time, money and lots of frustration.

Next time I move abroad, my phone, laptop and cloud drive will be primed and ready to support our expat escapades before I leave home.

Mistake Number 8: I Failed to Educate Myself on Some Critical Spanish Vocabulary.

Case in point: the Spanish word for the @ symbol. Might sound silly, but it’s kind of an essential term with no real work around when you need to provide your email address. Especially when you’re talking to a person, you guessed it… over the phone!

Brushing up on the Spanish alphabet so I could easily spell my strange, American name wouldn’t have hurt either. I’ve yet to meet a Spanish person get the correct spelling of Jackie on the first guess.

Next time I move to a foreign country, there’s some basic, critical vocabulary I’ll commit to memory before I get here.

Mistake Number 9: Despite What Felt Like Exhaustive Research, There Were Many Questions I Didn’t Ask the School in Spain I’d Chosen for My Children.

Free Guide to Your Child's Expat Education
Questions to consider for your child’s education abroad.

Pleading ignorance on this one. I’d never lived outside my home country and certainly hadn’t parented in one. Now I know there are a lot of nuances to consider when educating your child abroad. I never would have understood this before living here.

Next time I move to a foreign country, I’ll have a much better understanding of the challenges we face as expat parents and the kinds of questions to ask prospective schools. Read more about that here in my free guide to Your Child’s Expat Education.

Mistake Number 10: I Didn’t Do Enough to Develop My Kids Spanish Before We Arrived in Spain.

Our younger son had been in a dual language immersion program in the States. Not so the older one. We’d forced some time on online learning sites as well as some Spanish camps during those travels in northern Spain, but it wasn’t enough. The stress of the language barrier on his teenage brain affected him both educationally and socially.

Next time I move kids to a foreign speaking country, I’ll go out of my way to figure out some immersive language experience before arriving and starting school. Especially a teenager.

Takeaways from Our Biggest Mistakes Moving to Spain

It’s funny looking back on what was all so new a mere few years ago. Some of these errors seem so easily avoidable now. I won’t punish myself now for what we didn’t know then. Realistically, the things I learned by doing so much wrong are has given me such knowledge to help other expats.

Even with the most thorough of planning, you’re bound to make mistakes. But a helpful hand can go a long way to shorten your own “biggest mistakes moving to Spain” list.

For more information on planning your move to Spain, solo or as a family, contact me here.

Filed Under: Expat Family Life, Expat Tips Tagged With: Biggest Mistakes Moving Abroad, Biggest Mistakes Moving to Spain, Education in Spain, Expat Education, Finding housing in Spain, How to move to Spain, Moving to Spain from US with family, Spanish bank account, Spanish Health Insurance

Your Child’s Move Abroad: 5 Factors Affecting How They Cope

April 25, 2019 by familymoveabroad

Just as with adults, children moving abroad experience a sense of loss and period of adjustment. Loosely termed culture shock, each child or teen’s adaptation process will be unique to them. Understanding the variables that play a role in this transition can help you set your family up for success. Here are five factors affecting your child’s adjustment after moving to a new country.

1. Age of Children when Moving Abroad

Generally speaking, the older the child at the time of the move, the more challenges they’re likely to experience.

Children under age 4 will have the easiest time adapting to a new language, cultural traditions, foods and weather. Their lives are still largely anchored within the home. In fact, if the child hasn’t transitioned to a school setting yet, the shock will likely be minimal. Further, the social life of a younger child is far less established than that of an older one. Yes, children this age have friends, even “best” friends. But their friendships are anchored more in play rather than the emotional bonds formed between children from age 5 to 11. These kids are also more likely to have daily routines and relationships independent from the family unit. Moving children abroad takes them away from all the friends, activities and achievements they associate with home.

As you might guess, an international move can be a much harder process during adolescence. Teens lives are anchored in their social world. Forming connections to people as well as exploring interests are the means by which they build their emerging sense of identity. Differences in musical tastes, fashion styles and what’s considered “fun” will leave them nostalgic for friends, sports and hobbies left behind.

2. Personality Style and Personal Strengths

Personality traits such as sociability, emotional sensitivity and level of activity also influence how a child adapts after moving.

Outgoing children with well developed social skills are more likely to make friends in their new cultural setting. However, such children may also suffer more frustration if they do face troubles in this regard. Why? Because it runs counter to their previous success relating to people.

Family Adventures

Not surprisingly, shy children are more susceptible to the social withdrawal risks of culture shock. Yet ironically, sometimes moving shy children to a completely new environment allows them thrive. They open up in a way they were never able to do before, and experiencing a level of friendship and belonging they didn’t have previously.

Emotional tendencies also impact how a child manages culture shock. The reality is that some children are just wired to be more resilient. They’ll adapt more easily compared to children who innately don’t cope well with change.

Kids who tend towards positive thinking and who manage emotions well will also fare better than kids who tend towards negative thinking or who struggle with emotions like fear and anger. Even energy levels play a role in a child’s adaptation process. More active kids, generally speaking, integrate new stimuli more rapidly compared to their less active peers, supporting acceptance of the changes in their environment.

3. The Reasons for Moving Abroad

The reasons causing you to move greatly affect children’s receptivity to their new circumstances, regardless of age or other personality traits.

Children from families moving abroad for an improved quality of life — better schools for the kids or job opportunities for the parents — will experience less difficulties than those whose families are moving to escape a dangerous, insecure or stressful situation. Similarly, children from families looking to experience a family adventure abroad will have an easier time of it. In general, the greater the child’s perception of security, stability and reward, the less challenges the child will have.

Teens Moving Abroad Must Find New Peer Groups

4. Participation in Decision-Making

Allowing children some input into moving related decisions will support their transition. This will be especially true for adolescents. Having some say in matters that affect them will support their burgeoning autonomy and foster a sense of control and security.

Of course, the parents need to make key decisions that are beyond a child or teen’s understanding. But, where possible, allowing your child to participate in the decision making process will support their receptivity to the changes in their life. Listen to their opinions about homes you’re considering. If they’re old enough, allow them to tour schools with you and take in their feedback. Which one do they think would be better for them? This kind of collaboration might even instill some excitement about their move abroad.

Along these lines, try to preview as much as possible in advance. If you’ve already found a home, show them photos. Virtually walk the streets of your new neighborhood using Google maps. Introduce some of the new foods awaiting them before you arrive. Upping their knowledge of what’s to come will lessen intensity of the changes in store.

5. Family Make Up and Parenting Style

A child from a multicultural family will more readily adapt to cultural differences. Having been exposed to more than one culture within their home environment, these children intuitively understand different cultures do things differently. They also may have traveled more internationally and might already be exposed to more than one language. These circumstances make them more flexible to the changes brought on by an international move.

Parenting style also plays a significant impact on a child’s transition to a new country. Children from families with rigid rule setting that limits a child’s autonomy and expression of feelings will have a more difficult time compared to kids from more families with more flexible family dynamics. The parents are always the leaders, but children in this setting are encouraged to express their needs and desires. They’re also encouraged to explore their autonomy. The safety of their family unit permits them to freely feel and process the insecurities and emotions that arise from their new life situation.

What These Variables Mean for Your Family Move Abroad

In one way or another, these five factors play a role in how easily a child adapts after moving to a foreign country. Yet there are no hard and fast rules that will dictate what happens. Hopefully, understanding these elements will help you support your children’s needs.

Think of your child as a brain that needs trust, a heart that needs love and a soul that needs peace. It’s completely normal, as a parent, to fear witnessing your children struggle. But worrying about moving abroad won’t help. You only need to be there, sharing your own perceptions, normalizing the strangeness by talking about difficult situations openly and without fear.

Remember, confronting these kinds of challenges is part of what makes moving to a foreign country such an opportunity for growth. It opens the door for a child — or person of any age for that matter — to discover strengths, abilities and qualities within themselves they would never have the chance to see or develop. And that is a gift that last a lifetime.

Have you observed any of these factors in play when you moved your family to a foreign country? If you’re still in the planning stages of moving your children abroad, do you have particular concerns about how some of these variables will affect your child? Share your comments with me here.

Irene Paola Garza del Valle

Irene Paola Garza Del Valle ~ Integrative Psychotherapy ~ Specializing in expats and multicultural couples and families

Born and raised in Mexico, I now live in Seville, Spain. I have counseled people from 11 countries and 5 continents both in person and virtually. Visit me at
mentesequilibrio.wixsite.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.facebook.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.youtube.com/channel/UCYZuuVPNlY3BjICCiyPplmA

Filed Under: Culture Shock, Expat Family Life, Expat Tips Tagged With: Culture Shock in Children, Expat Parenting, How to Cope with Culture Shock, How to deal with Culture Shock, Parenting Abroad

20 Culture Shock Symptoms Every Expat Should Know

March 3, 2019 by familymoveabroad

Culture shock affects every expat at some point. Even if your move abroad is purely out of desire. Preparedness is key. Recognizing the emotional, social and physical symptoms of culture shock — along with tools to cope — will ease your transition and set you up for success in your new foreign home. Emotional symptoms of culture shock make it hard to cope

Emotional Symptoms of Culture Shock

  1. Feelings of nostalgia and sadness for your country of origin. Missing family, friends and activities you used to do.
  2. Loneliness, isolation and a sense of “not belonging” in your new country.
  3. Feelings of doubt, disappointment, guilt or regret at the challenges of living abroad.
  4. Constant thoughts of wanting to go back to your home country.  
  5. Fear, anxiety and nervousness when facing the unknown.
  6. Inability to be present. To enjoy new situations and new experiences.
  7. Feeling negative about the future.
  8. Constant comparison of the lifestyle and circumstances between your home country and your new country.

Physical symptoms of Culture Shock

Culture shock may manifest itself through physical symptoms

  1. Loss of energy, physical tiredness, fatigue.
  2. Change in sleep patterns — insomnia, narcolepsy, nightmares.  
  3. Shift in eating habits — eating disorders, eating in excess or loss of appetite.
  4. Pain in one or several parts of the body with no obvious physical cause.
  5. Hair loss or skin ailments.
  6. Gastrointestinal disorders.
  7. Development of new allergies

Social symptoms of Culture Shock

  1. Difficulty communicating due to a language barrier.Culture shock can make you feel isolated and alone
  2. Challenges making friends and getting to know people.
  3. Emergence or increased shyness and insecurity in social settings and interpersonal encounters.
  4. Inability to understand cultural and social differences.
  5. Difficulties integrating that result in further loneliness and isolation

How These Symptoms Might Appear in Everyday Life

Clearly culture shock affects multiple areas of your well being. Further, challenges in one area may interact and amplify difficulties in others. 
    • You miss friends, family and activities you used to do before you moved.
    • That sadness keeps you from exploring activities in your new country.
    • Failure to engage in enjoyable pastimes makes it difficult to form new friendships.
    • The lack of friends starts to isolate you socially.
    • This isolation feeds your sense of loneliness and feeling like “you don’t belong here.”
    • Inner turmoil increases, keeping you awake at night.
    • Your increasing fatigue aggravates your nervousness, causing appetite loss.
    • The stress on your body diminishes energy further.
    • This physical depletion makes you less able to invest yourself socially.
    • Loneliness increases even more.
    • You become even more convinced “you don’t belong here.” 
  • You obsess even more about the life you had before your move.

Tools to Help You Cope

Clearly, culture shock can be painfully intense. And serious. Untreated, symptoms can degrade into depression, anxiety or other health problems. Of course, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t move abroad! The opportunities for self-discovery that comes from living in a foreign country are truly one of a kind. The important thing to remember is these kinds of symptoms are a completely normal part of your adaptation process. It’s when they persist that they become a problem.  Preparedness is key. Even before you move,  there are many things you can to do cope with culture shock.  With awareness — and perhaps a bit of professional help — culture shock will be nothing more than a temporary component of a fantastic foreign adventure.
Irene Paola Garza Del Valle ~ Integrative Psychotherapy ~ Specializing in expats and multicultural couples and families
Born and raised in Mexico, I now live in Seville, Spain. I have counseled people from 11 countries and 5 continents both in person and virtually.

mentesequilibrio.wixsite.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.facebook.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.youtube.com/channel/UCYZuuVPNlY3BjICCiyPplmA

Filed Under: Culture Shock, Expat Family Life, Expat Tips Tagged With: Can you overcome culture shock, How culture shock effects, How does culture shock affect an individual, How to handle culture shock, Symptoms of Culture Shock, What does culture shock feel like, What is Culture Shock

How to Cope with Culture Shock – An Expert’s Guide

February 18, 2019 by familymoveabroad

When culture shock takes hold, the word can feel like a lonely place

Moving to a foreign country may be one of the greatest adventures you ever pursue. Yet the excitement and planning of your international adventure can mask a much darker side of your move abroad — the emotional toll of culture shock.

What is culture shock and why does it occur?

Culture shock refers to the confusion and distress you feel when you’re suddenly exposed to a new, strange, or foreign culture. It further encompasses the feelings of loss and grief for the people, places and activities you love and miss from the culture left behind.

Who experiences culture shock and how does it affect you?

All expats eventually feel sadness over losing the life they had before — even if the move abroad was very much desired.

Specific symptoms may present themselves emotionally, socially and physically. Your individual experience of these symptoms will be unique and specific to you.

Personality differences, life history and the circumstances behind your move all play a role in your transition process.

What can you do to overcome culture shock?

Successful adaptation demands you process the loss you’re experiencing before it degrades to anxiety, depression or other mental health problems.

Balance is key. The aim is not to detach from your former culture, nor forget about loved ones and favorite places you’ve left behind. Rather, you integrate who you were before with the new you opened up by your foreign experiences.

Express your emotions

Talking about the negative emotions you’re experiencing is key to releasing them. Express everything you are feeling — the nostalgia, the sadness, the disappointment and the fear.

If relying on a friend or family member makes you feel too vulnerable, seek out a qualified therapist.

The loneliness of culture shock can isolate you socially

Get to know new people

Developing relationships in your new country is critical. Find ways to pursue activities you enjoyed in your former life to start cultivating new social circles.

Consider seeking out expat communities in your area. Connecting with others from your home country might make you feel less alone, and those individuals will likely understand what you’re going through.

Create a positive outlook

When feeling down, try to remember your strengths and the reasons you made the decision to move abroad.

Focus on the benefits of your new place of residence — the things you can do in your new country that you maybe can’t at home. Look for similarities between the old life and the new so that you’re not obsessing about the differences.

Turn uniqueness into opportunity

Sometimes being a foreigner has its advantages. Is there a skill you have that might open up a job opportunity? A business idea you can bring from your home culture that locals might be interested in?

Finding ways to offer something to your new community will help you feel better about being there and open doors to new personal connections.

Focus on the present

Invest your time and thoughts into making a life in the place where you are now. It’s one thing to acknowledge what you love and miss about your home country. It’s another to obsess over what you no longer have.

Pursue the sports and recreational activities you enjoyed before. Enroll in a gym. Go for a run. Create a routine for yourself.

Blend the things that make you “you,” while mixing in a few cultural events or opportunities unique to your new home.

Culture shock symptoms and tips how to cope.

Remember all your experiences add up in life

A foreign relocation is a huge step outside your comfort zone. Stepping out of your comfort zone is an opportunity to grow. Living in a foreign country presents many opportunities to learn something new, to expand your perspective about life, to see the world through new eyes.

The emotions you’re experiencing are an opportunity for you to realize you are stronger, more resilient and more capable than you thought you were. Learn to reframe hardships into learning experiences. Shifting perspectives will help you take pride in yourself for what you’re accomplishing.

Prevention

Culture shock can’t necessarily be avoided, but you can prepare yourself and your family members for the potential sadness to come. Consciously being clear with yourself about you’re leaving behind before you actually leave will help you more quickly process the loss and accept the new situation.

Create realistic expectations about what you expect to do in your new country. Think about things that will be different that you expect to enjoy, but also take time to note the things you know you’ll miss.

Family, friends, favorite foods, hobbies or sports that won’t be available… Often just the awareness of the sadness and symptoms of culture shock is enough to help ease through the changes.

Do any of your family members already struggle with mental health issues like depression or anxiety? Find a counselor immediately on arrival, or even consider starting therapy before you go. The whole journey will feel that much more supported.

When to seek professional support

The experience of some or all of the symptoms of cultural adaption at some point in your transition is completely normal. But grief from culture shock left untreated can lead to more severe emotional states such as depression or anxiety.

If you find yourself with increasingly worsening symptoms that persist for more than two months, you should seek out help. A qualified therapist will work with you to create solutions and strategies to deal with your feelings and come to a place of acceptance and happiness in your new life.

Expat and Psychologist Irene Paola Garza Del Valle understands culture shock personally and professionally.

Irene Paola Garza Del Valle ~ Integrative Psychotherapy ~ Specializing in expats and multicultural couples and families.

Born and raised in Mexico and now living in Seville, Spain, I have counseled people from 11 countries and 5 continents both in person and virtually. I want people to know you will stop feeling afraid when you realize the answers lie inside you. It doesn’t matter where you are living or where you are from. Your home, your safe place, is yourself.

 Get in touch with Irene at mentesequilibrio.wixsite.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.facebook.com/mentesenequilibrio ~ www.youtube.com/channel/UCYZuuVPNlY3BjICCiyPplmA

 

 

Filed Under: Culture Shock, Expat Family Life, Expat Tips Tagged With: Culture Shock Help, Effects of Culture Shock, How to Cope with Culture Shock, What is Culture Shock, Why does culture shock happen

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